How to survive Indifference and Conflict

Indifference and conflict are common attributes of today’s society. So common that you’ll find it in the least expected places. It hurts deeply and costs dearly. What to do and how to get out of it is tricky without God’s leading.


In 2 Samuel 3 indifference between two generals is described. The general of Saul’s(who just died) army (Abner) and the general of David’s army (Joab) collided. Two strong personalities on collision course. The jealousy of Abner drove him to the extreme. It ended in the death of Saul’s general.

How to handle conflict:

  • Pray and ask God to calm you and show you what and how to do.
  • Before you start to look for a way out of conflict, calm down. Little offenses look much bigger the closer you are to them. If you let a little time pass, you will see them in their proper context and respond appropriately.
  • Do your homework. Sometimes you think you are right, but upon further investigation, you may discover that you contributed to the problem or aggravated the situation.
  • Take a step back and look for common goals bigger than the differences.
  • Work on common ground and try for a settlement of the differences.
  • In the process of looking for a solution don’t compromise your Biblical values.
  • Ask God in prayer to show you a Godly person you can trust. Talk the conflict through with this person. This person can help you to save you from yourself. A wise person will ask you what you want to accomplish with the conflict.
  • Write your anger in an e-mail, but don’t send it. To write about your problem will help to put it in perspective.
  • And if no solution can be found ask a Godly person to mediate the situation. Talk it out with the person, and stay calm.
  • Admit your mistakes.
  • Always rely on the Biblical principles for your decisions.
  • Obey the principles in the Bible.
  • Don’t take revenge of any kind, God will take care of the wrongdoing you had to suffer (Romans 12:19).
  • Do not rejoice when the other party suffers, be compassionate.
  • Forgive the other party and move on.

This is not always as easy as it looks. It is possible. With God’s help you can do all things (Phillipians 4:13).