How do you react when you feel your anger gets out of control?
Whenever you feel that reason and self-control are giving way to irrational and unbridled behaviour, put on the brakes and call a truce in order to take time out. The direction of the conversation will not change but will continue to escalate unless you do something to intervene in the process.
- Stop and take a deep breath.
- Hold up your hands to indicate that you are “surrendering” for the time-being by calling a halt to what is taking place.
- State that you are getting more and more upset and unable to think clearly, or that the conversation is not going in a positive direction and does not seem to be resolving anything.
- Explain your plan to calm down and regain a cool head by taking a walk around the block, listening to music, taking a shower, or whatever helps you to regain your composure.
- If possible, agree on a time to resume the conversation.
Whenever you are at a stage with somebody where agreement between the two of you is not possible …
- Agree to have different opinions on the subject but to not let that become a problem in the relationship.
- Remember that if two people agree on everything all the time, their relationship runs the high risk of becoming stagnant and void of growth.
- Decide to engage in stimulating conversations where varied opinions are expressed in order to develop listening skills, to learn from others, to think through your own opinions, and to practice expressing those opinions to others in a clear and concise manner.
Proverbs 18:2 “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions… Romans 14:1 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.”