People parent their children differently – your method of parenting impacts the development as well as the behaviour of your children. These different approaches will have distinguishing characteristics that make up five basic parenting styles.
The Problem Parenting Styles:
- Domineering: The goal of this style is to control the children’s behaviour. When parents are over-controlling their children, the children become rebellious. If the parent is not flexible, the child becomes fearful of failure. When the parent is performance-oriented (vs. people-oriented) the child becomes under- or overachievers. A critical parent normally has overly sensitive children. A parent who thinks in “black and white” has children who become bitter. A Biblical Example of domineering parents can be found in Genesis 29:1- 31:55. Rachel’s father, Laban, is a picture of a domineering father. He used his authority to control the decisions and activities of his family and his extended family. Laban deceived Jacob in order to get his older daughter, Leah, married first. He cheated Jacob on his wages and then became critical of his son-in-law’s success. Laban eventually disinherited his daughters, resulting in disunity and deceit within his family. “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”(Colossians 3:21)
- Doting: The goal of this parenting style is to control your children’s feelings. When parents are overprotective of their children, the children become spoiled. When parents yield to the pressure of the child, the child becomes manipulative. When the parents are desperate for harmony, the children become disrespectful. Parents who want to rescue their children all the time produces children who become irresponsible. When parents want to help their children with literally everything, the children become helpless. A Biblical Example of this parenting style can be found in 1 Samuel 2 and 4. Eli was a good man who served as a spiritual leader of Israel, both as a judge and as a priest, yet he was a doting, permissive father who failed to discipline his two sons. He did not restrain his sons’ rebellious behaviour nor did he model an accurate picture of the character of God. By giving up leadership for the sake of harmony, Eli raised sons who became irresponsible men who had no regard for the Lord or His laws. “…he who loves him (son) is careful to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24)