What is your Style of Parenting (2)?

People parent their children differently – your method of parenting impacts the development as well as the behaviour of your children. These different approaches will have distinguishing characteristics that make up four basic parenting styles. Previously I mentioned two styles and now the rest of the problematic parenting styles:

The Problem Parenting Styles:

  • Dependent: The goal of this parenting style is to control behaviour and feelings. When the parent is possessive, the child becomes fearful. When the parent is manipulative, the child becomes deceitful. When the parent is suspicious, the child develops jealousy. When the parent acts in a inconsistent way, the child becomes indecisive. When the parent is controlling, the child becomes passive. A Biblical Example of this parenting style can be found in Genesis 27:2–17, 41–45. Rebekah tried to fill the role of God in the life of her favoured son, Jacob. She felt she must not only protect this younger child, but also make all the important decisions for him. Failing to trust God, Rebekah schemed and manipulated Jacob into deceiving his father in order to gain God’s blessing. This enmeshed relationship between a controlling mother and her passive son resulted in hatred, jealousy, and division within the family. Rescuing him from his brother’s anger, Rebekah sent Jacob to his Uncle Laban, where he was again passive and indecisive in his relationships. “This is what the Lord says: ‘Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord.’ ”(Jeremiah 17:5)
  • Detached: The goal of this parenting style is to avoid responsibility for failure. When parents are apathetic, the child becomes self-sufficient. When the parents are ambivalent, the child becomes emotionally hardened. When the parents are uninvolved in the child’s life, the child becomes rebellious. When the parents don’t follow through, the child becomes an under-achiever. When the parents don’t set clear boundaries to their child, the child becomes insecure. A Biblical Example of detached parenting style can be found in 2 Samuel 13-15 and 1 Kings 1:5–6. King David was highly successful on the battle field, but woefully ineffective at home. He was, in fact, detached from the responsibilities involving his many wives’ children. David apparently put all his energy and time in “attending to business.” There is no evidence of effective discipline in response to the outright defiance and sinful behaviour of his children. The rape of his daughter went unpunished, and two of his own sons, in outright rebellion, considered how to usurp the power of their father. “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.” (1 Timothy 3:4)