How to Help Angry Children (2)

Children are moldable. While they have their own wills, they do respond to people and to their surroundings. When parents structure their home according to God’s Word, children learn to turn their destructive anger into constructive problem solving – they learn to be loving instead of angry. “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.” (Proverbs 10:12)

More things to do to help an angry child:

  • Establish reasonable age-appropriate “boundaries” with rewards and repercussions: Determine rewards for staying within the boundary (example, increased time with friends) and repercussions for crossing the boundary (decreased time with friends). “We instructed you how to live in order to please God.” (1 Thessalonians 4:1)
  • Enforce boundaries consistently: Never make ultimatums that you do not carry out. Be true to your word.; If you are not able to disciple at the time of disobedience, let your child know that the repercussion will be enforced at a later time. “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.” (Proverbs 19:18)
  • Learn to deal appropriately with your own anger: You are your children’s model for proper relationships. They will learn angry relationship skills if you are an angry parent; Children who have angry parents often think of God as an angry God. If you are an angry parent, your children may reject your religious faith because they perceive it as harsh and filled with anger. “Now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” (Colossians 3:8)
  • Let your discipline be based on love, never on anger: Discipline because your child needs it, not because your child has hurt you; When you discipline, be sure your children recognise that you love them. Do not give the impression that you hate or disapprove of them. Value them as your children and as your treasured family members. Make it clear that their behaviour is what you are rejecting, not them. “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.” (Revelation 3:19)
  • Love your spouse openly and unconditionally: How the parents relate to each other is often reflected in how the children relate to others; When parents show little love toward one another, children can feel insecure and, therefore, angry; The best way to give security to your child is to love your spouse. “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)
  • Validate each child by refusing to show favouritism: By showing favouritism to one child, you breed anger within the other children; Fairness does not mean that you must give each child the same present or that all have the same amount of ice cream. But it does mean that you are not showing more love to one child than to another. “My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism.” (James 2:1)
  • Encourage and affirm each child daily: Offer praise regularly, for the little things as well as the big things. Children want to please their parents. Let them know that they do not have to seek your approval, but that you love them unconditionally; Children are a gift from God. Remind them how thankful you are that God has given them to you. “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)