The functional family is a Cultivating Family.
In Cultivating Families:
- The parents maintain structure and discipline.
- Individual responsibility is required from every family member.
- The parents take up the responsibility to develop in themselves and their children a love and obedience to God.
- The children are secure in themselves and in the home.
When this happen in a family, the family relations are very much balanced.
“There, in the presence of the Lord your God, you and your families shall eat and shall rejoice in everything you have put your hand to, because the Lord your God has blessed you.” (Deuteronomy 12:7)
Sometimes a person who came out of a dysfunctional family will say something like: “My parents did not really love me, they always had some conditions attached to it. I never felt the security and significance I was looking for as a child. Since I have this kind of crappy past, I can not change it and therefore I can not change who I am today.”
This is the talk of a person who feels stuck, but rather should say something like: “My need for unconditional love, significance and security is being met by Christ, who lives in me. Although I can’t change my past, I can change my attitude about my past. I will change what I can in future for the good and depend on God to empower me to learn healthy ways of relating to my family. “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:3)
A person that came from a dysfunctional family has to forgive his family for making mistakes. Though the mistakes of the dysfunctional family had a severe affect on you, forgive them and set them free: “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)