In the midst of threatening circumstances, people react in 1 of 3 ways: fight, flight, or freeze … get even, get going, or get hurt.
Those who fight can quickly become aggressive victimizers. Because being beaten and abused, the “fighter” can decide to become defiant … to clench fists and dominate peers by intimidation. Bully people into compliance, threatening to “get them in the yard” if they didn’t let the “fighter” do what he/she wants. The “fighter” forces his/her will on others and terrorise in all kinds of ways without provocation.
Because the “fighter” believes that no one would ever love him/her, (s)he takes the offensive and give others no reason to love him/her.
The “fighter” has no one … so (s)he would need no one. That is the philosophy of the “fighter”… at least until the day (s)he meets Jesus and opens his/her heart to His life-changing love. He will give the “fighter” a new heart. The Lord makes this offer to everyone …“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26)
What Does Low Self-Worth Look Like?
When significant people reject or demean you, the logical reaction for many is to think less of them. Rejection or demeaning can be from parents, a significant teacher, grandparents, peers etc. A person, who experienced abuse of any kind, will most probably have a low self-worth because the demeaning process of abuse tells the victim “You are worth nothing.” The person with low self-worth thinks of him/herself, “I will never mount to anything” “I am ugly” etc.
Think about going to a fair and walking through “The Fun House” with its warped mirrors. When you turn the corner, you suddenly see a distorted image of yourself that immediately makes you laugh. Your head looks like a huge oval egg with narrow slanted eyes. Meanwhile, your neck has disappeared. Your arms have become wavy tentacles and your hips the size of a blimp.
Unfortunately, people with low self-worth walk around with mental images of themselves that are as warped as these distorted circus mirrors. Over time, their inner mirror has become warped by criticism, disapproval, and pain.
Thank God He does not look at us from a warped perspective, but through the eyes of purest love. The closer we are to Him, the more we will be able to see ourselves through God’s eyes. The Bible says, “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12)