Those who repeatedly experience significant rejection by others receive the message that they deserve rejection. Then they internalize that message and begin to reject themselves. This is especially true when rejection comes from those who are in positions of authority and on whom the child depends.
A child in an orphanage who is not selected for adoption over several years experiences severe rejection. Thankfully this child’s story does not end with her not being chosen by these people, for she was chosen by Another … by God Himself as stated in James 2:5, “Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?”
Such children grow up replaying in their minds the recorded messages/tapes of rejection they have received until the voices on the tapes become their own voices. It is virtually impossible for children to replace the big booming voices of adults/parents with their own small inner voices.
Only the loving, accepting voice of God is powerful enough to override and eventually silence voices with messages of rejection – and thus salvage the self-worth of these rejected children. Only God can bring them to the point of saying, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” (Psalm 27:10).
1. Parents and Authority Figures:
- Parents and any authority figure who are overly critical let the child get the message: “I am incompetent.”
- Parents and any authority figure who are overly protective send the message to the child: “I am inadequate.”
- Parents and any authority figure who are overly controlling let the child get the message: “I am unacceptable.”
- Parents and any authority figure who are overly permissive send the message to the child: “I am not valuable.”
Have you let negative circumstances shape your thinking and self-perceptions? If so, allow God to search your heart in order to reveal any perceptions/messages that are inconsistent with His Word. The more you allow God’s probing light to illumine the faulty thoughts and perceptions in your heart, the more you will be able to see your God-given worth and walk victoriously according to His Word. Let this be your commitment. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5).