Do you go through life fearing what others think? Some people look in the mirror and see only an ugly duckling, a sad little creature with no self-worth. Many people suffer from self-rejection … thinking they possess no personal value. Is that you?
Some children have every reason to develop wrong thinking and form faulty perceptions of themself. From the earliest memories, all they were told was that they didn’t do anything right, everything was their fault, they were not good enough, no one loved them or found value in them.
In their early years, they might have considered themselves as the “ugly duckling”—ugly, unacceptable. Not only were some of them called ugly, but also felt ugly because of the repeated pain of rejection.
In Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale “The Ugly Duckling,” the title character felt rejected and rebuffed by all the barnyard birds because they didn’t like his looks or his awkward waddle. He didn’t see the beautiful swan that was within, although the beauty was there all along. In truth, many people suffer from self-rejection … thinking they possess no personal value. Yet like this young little duckling, they look only to their outer image to determine their inner worth. If they could see what God sees, what a difference that would make! “From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth – he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.” (Psalm 33:13–15)
Low self-worth can result from how you see/perceive yourself and how you think others see/perceive you. Faulty perceptions lead to faulty conclusions:
- A self-perception of “I have to be perfect” leads to a faulty conclusion – “I didn’t do it right – I can’t do anything right.”
- A self-perception that overgeneralise everything around you, leads to a faulty conclusion – “I failed, so I must be a failure.”
- When you overreact you might come to the conclusion – “I am horrible for having failed.”
- If you have a self-perception of false guilt, you might come to the conclusion – “I am the reason my dad left/died.”
- When you view yourself as unforgiving, you might come to the conclusion – “I can’t forgive myself.”
- When you have the faulty perception of projection, you might come to the faulty conclusion of “My mother didn’t love me; therefore, no one will ever love me.”
- When you have the faulty self-perception that you are condemned, you might come to the faulty conclusion of “God could never forgive me.”
- If you have unrealistic expectations of yourself, you can come to the faulty conclusion of “I’ll never measure up to what people expect of me.”
- When you are fatalistic you will most probably say about yourself – “No one believes I will ever amount to anything.”
- When you lost hope and fell into hopelessness, you might say to yourself – “There isn’t anyone who holds out any hope for my life.”
When people say: “I will never be able to change the way I see myself and the way I think others see me.” Their faulty self-perception can change by fixing their thoughts on the truth … on Jesus. “Therefore … who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus …” (Hebrews 3:1)