Self-Talk that Defeats You

Do you have self-talk defeating your purpose in life? Many people use self-defeating self-talk because they react to the hurt of the past.

A young adult grew up in an orphanage and later in an abusive foster home.  She went to these places because her mom rejected her and she never knew her dad. When she finally met her dad, the father she had longed for, he criticised her and disappeared. Her sense of loss was profound. She cried out to the Lord, “He was the only person in the world who ever loved me. How could he do this to me?” She thought he loved her, but discovered nobody loves her. But she had the presence of mind to remember that God had not left her. She was not alone. She said, “When you have nothing left but God, you realize that God is enough. God has stood beside me when no one else wanted me; He was not going to abandon me now. God would have to heal the emotional pain that throbbed through my body.”

She began to allow the Lord to change her image of herself that had been perpetuated by her parents. She could choose to believe what the Lord said about her, not what her parents had said. “The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.” (Deuteronomy 7:6)

Whenever you are using self-defeating talk because of your circumstances, remember God’s words.

Self-defeating talk God’s answer
“I just can’t do anything right.” “I’ll give you My strength to do what is right.”

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

“I feel that I’m too weak.” “My power is perfect when you are weak.”

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

“I feel I’m not able to measure up.” “Rely on Me. I am able.”

“God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

“I don’t feel that anyone loves me.” “I love you.”

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)


“I can’t forgive myself.” “I can forgive you.”

“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” (Isaiah 43:25)

“I wish I’d never been born.” “Since before you were born, I’ve had plans for you.”

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

“I feel my future is hopeless.” “I know the future I have for you.”

“ ‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” (Jeremiah 29:11)