Results of Verbal and Emotional Abuse: Self-Demeaning

As a result of Verbal and Emotional Abuse, victims use Self-Demeaning Statements. The victim starts to use self-demeaning statements, because it is an expression of what he/she started to believe of him/herself. When a person starts to believe these statements, he/she will act accordingly.

Examples of Self-Demeaning Statements Victims of Verbal and Emotional Abuse use: “I am defective.” “I am bad if I feel angry.” “I am bad for having needs.” “If I am good, I will be loved.” “I am a worthless and unlovable person.” “Mistakes only confirm my worthlessness.” “If people I care about reject me, I must be unlovable.” “I need the approval of other people in order to be happy.” “I am responsible for the behavior and feelings of those around me.” “I am responsible for bringing about change in others when I see that it is needed.” “I must be dependent on others who are wiser and stronger than I am.” “The feelings of others are more important than my own.” “I need to be independent because others are untrustworthy.” “I will never let anyone get close enough to hurt me again.” “Everything I do is wrong – I can’t do anything right.” “Nothing matters anymore; life is hopeless.” “Bad love is better than no love at all.” “Whatever you want makes me happy.” “I will never measure up.” “I don’t see any way out.”

If you heard yourself using these examples and this is your situation as a victim of verbal and emotional abuse, is there any hope for someone broken by abuse?

There are several very good and efficient Christian counsellors/psychotherapists/psychologists around you, take the first step and ask them for help. God offers great hope. These therapists can help you to find this hope. God’s hope for you is Himself. Begin to deepen your dependence on the Lord and seek His comfort and healing. “Blessed is he … whose hope is in the LORD his God … who remains faithful forever” (Psalm 146:5–6). “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).