Measure your Relationships against the Gold Standard

Once a year on Valentines Day there is a lot of hype about love. Is it everyday Valentines or do you experience the other side of it? Abuse occurs when one person repeatedly interacts with another person in an unloving manner. Abuse violates the way God tells us to love one another. The best description of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13.

Measure the words been spoken to you against the gold standard of God’s Word in 1 Corinthians 13.

Love is:

  • Patient – Are these words spoken in haste?
  • Kind – Are these words unkind?

Love always:

  • Protects – Do these words attack?
  • Trusts – Do these words create doubt?
  • Hopes – Do these words create despair?
  • Perseveres – Do these words lessen motivation?

Love is not:

  • Proud – Are these words prideful?
  • Rude – Are these words disrespectful?
  • Self-seeking – Are these words self-serving?
  • Easily angered – Are these words hostile?
  • Envy – Are these words selfishly possessive?
  • Boast – Are these words bragging?
  • Delight in evil – Are these words malicious?


  • Keeps no record of wrongs – Are these words stored up offenses?
  • Rejoices with the truth – Do these words reflect untruthfulness?
  • Never fails – Do these words reflect loss of love?

Is there any hope for those who have been verbally abused? Granted, no magic dust will defuse the dynamic, but with hard, consistent work, progress can be made … change can occur … and victory can be achieved. Those who seek to control or to overpower you with verbal bombardments may not be as strong and self-assured as they appear. If they express inappropriate anger toward you, realise that their assaults are not about you, but about them! The source of their insensitive attacks is a heart that suffers from emotional deficits originating in the past and from their choice to respond to those deficits by abusing others. Additionally, be aware that you yourself may have unresolved anger from abuse in your past that magnifies the abuse you are experiencing now.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31–32)