Any abusive relationship can be changed with the right attitude and actions. You don’t have to be submitted to verbal and emotional abuse. It is time to do something about it. How do you confront the abuser?
Start educating yourself
Speak up when the abuse happens.
Try to get the Abuser’s Hostility to surface.
Soften the Confrontation Process
Keep to the present issues
- Focus on the issue at hand.
- Don’t bring up past issues.
- Don’t let the other person get you off track.
“Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”
Suppress Unrealistic Expectations
- Don’t put your hope in any expectation that an abuser will change, but put your confidence in God and in His sufficiency.
- Be aware that you cannot make the abuser change no matter what you do, how much you try, or how good you are as a person.
- Know that change will occur only after the abuser admits to having a problem and begins to receive the help and support needed to turn from that problem.
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:8–9)
Renew and Strengthen your Relationship with the Lord
- Look first to the Lord for discernment about your relationship. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom, insight, and direction as you seek to honor Him in all your relationships.
- Read Scripture and take God at His word in order to renew your mind so that you will not continue to live as a victim. Get involved in a Bible study. Memorize and daily rehearse Scriptures that emphasize your worth and the authority you have as one who is a temple of the Holy Spirit.
- Live dependently on Christ, who lives within you. Don’t try to live out of your own resources. Several times throughout the day present yourself to the Lord and acknowledge your total dependence on His resources.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” (2 Peter 1:3–4)