For a person who once verbally and emotionally abused people around you it is humbling to know that others are willing to forgive, but it also places a responsibility on the once-an-abuser to take responsibility and set things right – to have a desire to change for the good.
Suggestions for Recovering Abusers:
- Don’t vent your pent-up anger on another person. (Anger that is bottled up needs to be resolved and dissipated, not spewed out.) Understand that feeling angry is not a sin. Recognize and admit that you may not know how to handle your anger.
- Don’t say, “You’re the reason I am so angry.” Realise that you may be using your anger to get your own way.
- Don’t say, “I can never please you!” Begin to see things from the other’s point of view.
- Don’t say, “After all I did for you, it’s never enough.” Recognise that courageous people are willing to admit their weaknesses.
- Don’t use harsh, belittling, or sarcastic statements. Realise that you can change.… It’s never too late.
- Don’t withdraw emotionally. Be willing to enlist friends and family members for accountability.
“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.” (Proverbs 27:9)