Not-So-Obvious Causes of Feeling Rejected (2)

Just as there are obvious reasons for people to feel rejected, there are also hidden or not-so-obvious reasons. These not-so-obvious causes are not easily identifiable because sometimes they are shrouded in secrecy. At other times they are sins of omission rather than commission. Whatever the reason, not-so-obvious or covert rejection cuts just as deeply as obvious reasons, if not deeper. Because these tactics go undetected, and therefore unchallenged, victims are left even more devastated. However, since God sees everything, nothing escapes His eye – especially those things concerning each of us, whom He carefully crafted. “From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth – he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.” (Psalm 33:13–15)

  • Gender discrimination – Feeling inferior because of a bias against your gender – your gender is the wrong gender! “Nothing I think, say, or do has any validity to you because of your negative mindset toward me.”
  • Handicaps – Feeling inadequate because of your limitations. “I am defective and not equal to others because I cannot do all that they can do.”
  • Lack of support – Feeling rebuffed because of not being believed or helped. “You didn’t support me when I desperately needed you.”
  • Loss of a pet – Feeling abandoned because your pet was the only one who accepted you unconditionally. “I just lost my best friend.”
  • Over-controlling – Feeling powerless because your individuality is denied. “You won’t allow me to be myself.”
  • Over-indulgence – Feeling helpless because everything is done for you as though you cannot do anything for yourself. “I feel as though I’m being treated like a child.”
  • Performance-based acceptance – Feeling unacceptable because you are valued only for what you do. “I’m accepted only if I perform to your expectation.”
  • Sarcasm – Feeling cut down because of caustic humour at your expense. “Your sharp words, though masked with humour, feel like a sword piercing my heart.”
  • Silent treatment – Feeling shunned because a loved one has intentionally stopped communicating with you. “You treat me as if I don’t exist.”