How to break the Rejection Cycle

I recently experienced how somebody rejected my ideas. I felt overwhelmed and started to expect everybody to do the same. How to break this vicious cycle is described here:

  • “Just because someone rejects me doesn’t mean that everyone rejects me. Jesus loves me, no matter what others choose to do.” “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.” (John 15:9)
  • “Just because someone withholds love from me doesn’t mean everyone will withhold love from me. God will always listen to me and will never withhold His love from me.” “Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!” (Psalm 66:20)
  • “Just because someone may think that I am worthless doesn’t mean everyone thinks I’m worthless. God has already established my worth, and because of Him I will always have worth.” “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6–7)
  • “Just because someone doesn’t value me doesn’t mean that no one values me. God values me enough to send Jesus to die for me so that I can spend eternity with Him!” “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
  • “Just because someone has rejected me doesn’t mean I should hate myself. God has always loved me, and I can rely on His love.” “We know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love.” (1 John 4:16)
  • “Just because someone has rejected me doesn’t mean I should condemn myself. God will never condemn me, because I am in Christ’s family.” “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)
  • “Just because someone has rejected me doesn’t mean I should act destructively by behaving in a way that sets me up for more rejection. Since I will pay for my bad choices and be rewarded for my good choices, I am going to make good choices.” “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” (Galatians 6:7–8)
  • “Just because someone has rejected me doesn’t give me license to do what is wrong. God has given me the power to do what is right. Sin will not be my master!” “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” (Genesis 4:7)

Somebody asked: “Since a significant friend gave me the impression that she rejected me in a certain sense, I am vigilant to see how others are going to reject me. How can I keep from feeling like a reject?”

When someone close to you rejects you, be aware of a tendency to “over-generalize” – assuming that others will reject you too. Fearing the worst, you inadvertently begin pushing your remaining friends away in order to prevent further hurt. When they respond negatively, you interpret their reaction as confirmation of your deepest fears. This vicious cycle can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy and helps explain the saying, “Rejection breeds rejection.”

To stop feeling like a reject … Don’t assume that one person’s opinion reflects everyone’s opinion; Don’t let one person’s negative attitude toward you define you; Realise that because Jesus is always faithful, when He calls you “friend,” you can trust that His love will be with you always; Nurture several friendships, focusing on God’s description of how true friends treat one another – a true friend will never reject you. “A friend loves at all times.” (Proverbs 17:17)