Characteristics of a Distressed Marriage

The marital relationship can be a chisel chipping away at your unresolved personal problems. When your marriage reveals any of these characteristics, it is God’s way of getting your attention in order for one or both of you to change. God’s intent is for both partners to move from self-centered behaviour toward sacrificial behaviour that demonstrates godly love.









In the following posts we will look at the different kinds of Distressed Marriages:

  1. The Make-Believe Marriage. 

This kind of marriage lacks honest and intimate communication.

  • The partners don’t confront each other, because they are fearful and insecure.
  • Partners are not direct, but rather manipulate each other in different ways.
  • Partners don’t work through their problems but rather are stubborn.
  • Defensiveness in a marriage relation might be a sign of the fact that partners don’t take responsibility for their part in the distressed relation.
  • In a distressed marriage partners don’t acknowledge each other’s feelings but rather reject your mate emotionally.
  • Partners are don’t attend to each other’s needs, but rather is self-centered.
  • Partners don’t display affection, but take your spouse for granted.

The make-believe marriage is a marriage in name only. Two people are going through the outward rituals of a marriage, yet one or both seem to be selfishly pursuing individual personal goals. The way to enjoy intimate communication is to be as concerned about your partner’s needs as about your own.

“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)