Marriage Expectations

Far too many people enter into a marriage relationship expecting a personal payoff. Deep and honest reflection will reveal thinking like, She is going to make me happy, or He is going to take care of me. Eventually, these unfulfilled expectations become lost hopes and dreams that can grow into a root of bitterness. “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”(Hebrews 12:15)


Unrealistic Marriage Expectations are:

Marriage will …

  • provide me with love and acceptance
  • bring me affection and sexual intimacy
  • surround me with a loving family rescue me from my present circumstances
  • furnish me with financial security afford me social acceptance
  • offer me broader career opportunities
  • protect me from loneliness
  • give me the assurance that someone will take care of me
  • allow me the time to change my mate’s behaviour.

Those who enter marriage with the goal of getting rather than giving is living with the unrealistic expectation that a spouse can meet their deepest inner needs. They live with the wrong marriage expectation of: “I have the right to expect my marriage partner to meet my needs. Divorce is better than keeping a loveless marriage together.”

A better marriage expectation is: God expects me to keep my marriage commitment. I will look to the Lord to provide my deepest needs and allow Christ to love and serve my mate through me. “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)