It is essential to keep your marriage relationship kindled with transparency, active listening communication skills, loving assertiveness (not anger), emotional, and physical intimacy. It is essential to keep the emotional intimacy healthy to let your marriage relationship flow over into physical intimacy and “oneness” the Bible is talking about.
To keep the emotional intimacy healthy we need special time together as a marriage couple in order to foster the physical intimacy part:
- Date Night: “One of the most stable couples I know has never, in 42 years of marriage – not for kids, or weather or social commitments or work – missed a Friday night dinner date. When the conversation is open, nothing is left to the imagination and there is a sense of safety, a date night is just the thing to create a container of romance around the openness fostered by good communication. Remember gentleman, the way to a man’s heart may be through his stomach, but the way to a woman’s is through her ears” (heart).
- Sacred Space: Date nights are nice, but even better is what I call sacred space; setting aside time each week to sit, without distraction, and talk about the relationship. Often, we become so distracted by the lives that we lead that we forget that our relationship needs a little attention. The routine of cohabitation is not cultivation – it’s maintenance. Being…invested in the fabric of the relationship and working together to keep it strong is a…necessity to fostering not just contentment, but joy.
- Physical Intimacy: We often use the phrase “making love”. Physical Intimacy (sex) and relationship do not occur in separate containers, but we often treat them that way. Most of us, quite frankly, have never made love or been made love to because we keep those two things separate, either by default or by design. The sexual dynamic in a relationship – and its cultivation – is so much more important than we realise. And that sexual dynamic is not about intercourse – it’s about the sexual dynamic (physical intimacy) as a whole and making that dynamic a routine part of the relationship…” (Michael Formica, 2010) (Indents are my own words)